look mom

you guys really need to sack up. really.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/1805262746.html

The other day, someone posted a plea to a redheaded intern at UCB. Well, as a coward myself, I have one of my own. You’re the dark haired rocker chick with the great smile. I see you collect the votes at Cage Match every week, and I’ve been working up the nerve to try to talk to you. I can’t play guitar, and I’m only a 201 student. I’m only bringing this up because someone told me about the “caste system” at UCB (that an intern would only date another intern or a performer, etc.) But I’m a good guy and I bet we’d have a lot in common. Are you single and if so, could we grab a drink before or after Cage Match sometime?

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/1804615497.html

You are a super hot italian dude who is on a harold team and hangs
around the ucb. i am the shy girl in the audience who doesn’t know how
to approach you or even make eye contact. i think its cute that you
still live with your parents in jersey and i like that you are
musically inclined. i also play guitar. we should jam together
sometime or, you know maybe just hang out.

ps. you look like you could be in the mafia. i like that.

Let’s help someone:

I am a nerd for doing this, but let me commit. I am twenty one, a student in improv, and an audience member of the UCB and the Gethard Show. You are a very adorable and cute redhead who is an intern at the UCB and a friend of Gethard’s who also helps with his show. You are also absolutely beautiful.

I have only really had one encounter with you other than paying for show tickets or being counted on the ticker as I enter the theater at random shows. I have only had one encounter that you probably don’t even recall.

About two or three or four months ago, you and two other girls performed at School Night. You all did, what I recall, an improvised interpretive dance. The dance climaxed with the three of you choosing three audience members to dance with…who did you choose and how do I fit into this equation? Simple. You and I shared a very awkward dance, due to my cowardice.

Now, you are probably saying to yourself: “Jeesh, you, if you know where I intern/perform and see me on a pretty frequent basis, why not introduce yourself and talk to me in person?” Well, to answer that question quite honestly and thoroughly and swiftly, I am a coward. I am constantly telling myself that girls I find intriguing would not be interested in me, only so I have the oppurtunity to avoid conflict and initiation. I am afraid of rejection.

So I find myself on this website typing up an essay in hopes that you or someone who is close to you finds this and I eventually hear back from you. I would love to take you on a date and show you that I am a good guy who just wants to get to know you. I am a very awesome guy, aside from what is mentioned in the paragraph above!

Anyways, I hope you find this and reply!

there is always someone before you and there will always be someone (a million) after you

get

over

it